So Long 2013

This year was full of challenges and trials and sadness for us. I often found myself repeating a saying my Maw Maw always said, "This too shall pass." With each bump we had to decide whether to be angry and bitter or to allow God to use it to make us more like Jesus. Of course the right and mature answer is to have a gentle and quiet spirit and respond in a Christ-like manner. I've got to admit that there was a fair amount of foot-stomping on my part this year. I shed many angry tears and felt bitterness try to take root in my heart. Did you know that bitterness doesn't taste bitter at first? It tastes good and justified and satisfying. But if you let it take root it grows and spreads and chokes out any fruit that shows you are a Christian. I wish I could tell you that I immediately responded to each trial by sweetly thanking Jesus for it and asking Him to use it for His glory. Or that I didn't recognize bitterness, but that as soon as I did, I immediately repented. But that's not true. God heard a lot of "I don't want to do this." and, "It's not fair." and, "I'm so sad!" I knew I was becoming bitter and I just didn't care. I wanted to be angry. I wanted to be bitter even while I prayed. The great thing about God is that He's big enough to take it. He listens and He comforts, but most importantly He corrects. There were a lot of responses from God like, "Really?" and, "Are you finished?" and, "Alright, young lady, that'll be just about enough." He reminded me that I was not my own; that I was bought with a price. He revealed sin and pride in me that needed to go. He reminded me that I was to follow His plan and that He had no intention of following mine. I needed to, once again, make Jesus The Lord of my life and let Him run things. I'm so thankful for God's love and His willingness to work on my stubborn and rebellious heart rather than just leave me that way. So each trial has come to pass and so has 2013. I'm not sad to see it go. I don't know if 2014 will be any easier, but I know that God is with me whatever may come. Always wanting my own way will leave me angry and disappointed, but submitting to God's authority will make me sweet and give me wisdom. Lesson learned. Again...